Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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