Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
