she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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