Define "chronic" masturbator.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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