Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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