In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
