i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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