my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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