dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
