haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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