This girl is more easily done than said...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
