you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize