it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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