So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i think my cat just said my name.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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