i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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