it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
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Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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