Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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