it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
