32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
