Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
