Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
