Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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