i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
