No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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