There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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