You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
