If i come over, it means nothing
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
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I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
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I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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