Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
