its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
