WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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