i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
