This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
