Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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