Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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