Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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