also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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