I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
