I must be too annoying 4 u.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I can't turn off my feet"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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