i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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