shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize