Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
