dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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