I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
