I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
