she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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