it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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