Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
