Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
