Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
