Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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