That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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