like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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