I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
