I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
