To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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