Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just saw a hot homeless man
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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