I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
