that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
