your thong is hanging out like whoa
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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