Porn is love you can see.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
