My room smells like vodka and shame
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
