I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
not ubering you a puppy
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
