Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
