we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If that was your dad, he is hot
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
