i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
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You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
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This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
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